This is not a hate blog about Capcom, despite what the title says. This is a letter from a jilted lover who still takes the abusive son of a @#$%^ who hurt them back in over and over.
That being said, let me put on my steel toed boots and kick some Japanese ass. This is unprecedented, and I know you've all been waiting for this drivel. Let me start out by saying that I've already thoroughly basted Resident Evil's turkey in my previous blog, but I might go back and make some carcass soup out of it if I get stirred up enough.
Let's start with Street Fighter. "Street Fighter" was a game released in 1988, when our writer was about 10 years old. I remember when it came out because it was the confusing game that all the big boys wouldn't let me watch with their asses packed so tight playing the damn thing from opening to closing in the arcade. Yes. Arcade. Remember those? The bright, shining oasis for young boys and girls in the vast ocean of dressing rooms and bookstores that made up the suburban mall? Arcades were the one place you could leave your kids without being worried about having them snatched, since the blaring lights and obnoxious sounds generally reduce all non-employee adults into quivering piles in mere moments. It was so bad my mother wouldn't even come in and get me, she'd just sit on a bench and glare until she caught my eye. I digress.
Street Fighter was rightly and excellent, well received game. It was fresh, cool, and not really that violent, unless you count the hamburger face the loser displayed in full 32-bit glory. Then came Street Fighter II, which was amazing. More characters, richer backgrounds, and a lot of "curb appeal" when adding the now-famous Chun-Li (the first girl in a game you didn't have to rescue that I can remember). Then came:
Super Street Fighter II · Turbo HD Remix (I wish I was kidding)
Street Fighter Alpha (Alpha 2 · Alpha 3)
Street Fighter III
Street Fighter IV (released to console only, kicks ass)
Street Fighter EX (EX2 · EX3)
Street Fighter: The Movie (Arcade · Home)
Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo
Super Gem Fighter Mini Mix
Street Fighter 2010
Some of these games are amazing. I just wanted you to see this list. Does any one thing need this many sequels? Seriously. How about:
Mega Man · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9
Mega Man in Dr. Wily's Revenge ·
Mega Man II · III · IV · V (not the same as 2, 3, 4, and 5)
Mega Man: The Wily Wars
Rockman Complete Works (hilarious since they came out with 14 more Rockman titles)
Mega Man Anniversary Collection
Mega Man: Powered Up
Mega Man & Bass (WTF?)
Rockman & Forte Mirai kara no ChÅsensha
Mega Man: The Power Battle
Mega Man 2: The Power Fighters (not the same as Mega Man 2)
Wily & Right no RockBoard: That's Paradise (again, WTF?)
Mega Man Soccer
Mega Man Battle & Chase
Super Adventure Rockman
Rockman Strategy
Mega Man X (2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8)
AND OVER 45 MORE TITLES!
Capcom. You have a problem. I realize you are a video game company, and that you have to make margins and advertising budgets work for you. I have a very good friend in the anime industry, and they have the same releasing issue (releasing the same thing time and time again).
But this is a failure of imagination. We don't ever need this many of the same thing, for any reason. Especially not from a company that destroys the only real innovation it ever had.
I'm speaking specifically of Clover Studios. Anyone? Didn't think so. Clover Studios (in addition to sharing half the name of my favorite movie) had a short career as a Capcom surrogate. A career that was marked by its only two games being the most amazing and truly inspired games I've seen in a long time. Viewtiful Joe and Okami were probably not the greatest games ever made, but they were incredibly fresh. So fresh that even my hard candy shell was broken into unintended smiles on several occasions at what I could do without even trying on these games. The graphics were not great, the plots were maybe a little silly, but the gameplay and concept was genius. What did Capcom do? Fired them all and closed the studio. Awesome. Gotta make more capital available for:
Mega Man
Street Fighter
Onimusha
Devil May Cry
Resident Evil
Captain Commando
Strider
Breath of Fire
Darkstalkers
Final Fight
Marvel vs. Capcom (if your company name is in the title, you fail at life)
SNK vs. Capcom (again)
Dino Crisis
Not that all of these games are bad. Street Fighter IV is awesome. Devil May Cry is a great concept (although so incredibly difficult that only the most dedicated fans will appreciate why). Resident Evil 2 was my favorite game of all time before Blizzard ground my social life up and forced me to snort it off an Azeroth-shaped mouse pad. Dead Rising is one of the best "Zombie" games ever made (and I wish they had made THAT one Resident Evil 5 - Holla!).
Capcom, this has been a long time in coming. You need help. Stop what you're doing. You're letting MMORPGs and Guitar Hero take over the world. Hire some young, fresh ideas. Give Mega Man, Resident Evil (*sniff*), and Street Fighter a viking funeral. Stop making games using other games as starting points. We'll wait for an Okami. We'll wait for a Dead Rising. Take your time, and do what you do best. Amaze us.
And stop using your name in the title of fighting games, you idiot.
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